I’m with you Mr. Brightside…

“open up my eager eyes.”

Words I’m pretty sure I have sung before dozens of times.  But, the other day, they awoke something in me.   That’s my prayer… that God would open up my eager eyes.  Not only do I want my eyes to be opened to the things that He wants to show me, but my desire is that my eyes would be eager for them.  A definition of eager is:  an impatient expectancy.  What if I lived my life that way?  How would that make my life different from the way it is now? If I was impatiently expecting God to open my eyes… I’m talking sitting on the edge of my seat, can’t stop tapping my foot because I’m so anxious for what God has in store, for what He desires to show me?  I want that.  I want my eyes to be eager, and I want God to open up my eager eyes.

For kicks and giggles.

After watching this, you should watch the remix.

Compassion International.

When writing my birthday list, I wrote about Irma, the little girl from the Dominican Republic that I sponsor monthly through Compassion International.  I realized I have never written about her on here… or at least not a full blog encouraging people to do the same thing.  Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said,

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ”

Shouldn’t we, every chance we get, tell others of the things that matter to us? The things that have changed us in hopes that they will change them as well? So, that’s what I am doing. 

Each month a very small amount of money is taken out of my checking account.  So small that I, a college student and mere server at a chinese restaurant, can afford it. If in my bank account or not in my bank account, my life is going to be lived relatively the same that month.  However, when that small amount gets sent to Irma, her life that month is drastically changed.   She writes me letters and in each letter, she thanks me at least 3 times for sending her money so that her whole family could eat, or so she could buy a chicken, or so that she can learn at school.  

I encourage you to do the same.  It’s 32 dollars a month.  I promise you the money being gone from your account is not going to hurt you, but it gives a child an opportunity to live.  In the wise words of Jason Mraz… “It’s our God forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved, loved”.  And through actually knowing and loving the child you sponsor, I assure you that your life will change and so will theirs.  It’s about so much more than 32 dollars.  

www.compassion.com

Go shawty, its your birfday…

I’m obsessed with birthdays. I love every single individual’s birthday.  Mine especially.  Obviously.  So, since it’s my twenty-forth birthday (geez, old.)… I am copying my friend Ericka and presenting you with 24 things that made the past year so special.  Here it goes (in no order, of course):

24. I lived in the best house with 5 of my very best friends.

23. I was in Jana and Will’s wedding.  Two people that I love dearly.

22.  I was in Caylan and Tyler’s wedding.  Also, two people that I love dearly.

21.  I watched my best friend Edie marry Timothy Kortman. 

20.  I got to visit those two in Chicago, there new home, and dance the night away in the basement of a bar (thanks to me and Tim for leading the way).

19. I watched my friend Biscuet’s life completely transform as he packed his bags and moved to China following the Lord’s calling on his life to change people’s lives, as well as his own, and love people in a way that is truly beautiful.

18. I lived with my sister this summer when she moved to Auburn.

17. I prayed and prayed and watched the Lord answer those prayers when we found out Haley and Corey were finally preggers.  I cannot wait to meet that little girl.

16. I got asked to be a grooms-maid in my one of my best friend, Nathan’s, wedding!

15. When most of my friends left me in Auburn, I watched the Lord provide me with two of my very best friends that I met this year, Laney and Megan.

14. I learned valuable lessons in what boys NOT to date. (we won’t get into all of that).

13. I saw my dad’s life change when he went out of the country for the very first time and built houses with Habitat for Humanity in India.

12. I attended my first ever Auburn basketball game.  Isn’t that sad? (thanks garret).

11. I sang karaoke every single Monday for the entire fall semester.

10. I was more honest with myself and with the Lord than ever in my life before.

9. I went to my first pro football game (the Falcons game with Laney) where we booed the refs, ate hotdogs, and attempted to win the lottery.

8. I saw Ryan Horne play about 3 different shows. 

7. Visited Erin in Nashville (finally) and experienced the Funky Griddle with E, Katlin, and Burkey. Deeee-lish.

6. God healed my mom of cancer.

5. I went to NYC with Grace Campus where I was a part of the biggest free AIDS testing day NYC has ever seen.  

4. Biscuet pulled the best surprise ever when he showed up on my doorstep when I was 100% certain he was going to bed… in China.

3. I started sponsoring my sweet Irma from the Dominican Republic and I am blessed by every letter I receive from her. 

2. I have stayed up late with my sister, laughed, cried, played stupid games, etc. more in the past year than ever before.  She has become my very best friend. 

1. I have learned more about myself, the things I love and the things I want to change, than any other year of my life.

staying in the here and now.

That’s what I’m doing.  Staying in the here and now.  I think that has been a huge challenge throughout my life.  I am always looking for what comes next… not in the “planner” sort of way… but, I get so excited about things to come that I tend to want to drop the “here and now”.  Take last summer, for example.  After coming back from Hong Kong, I knew without a doubt that there would be a day that I would pack my bags and move there.  Jesus instilled that in my while I was there.  He did not, however, tell me to move immediately.  Although that is very much so what I wanted to do.  So, I sort of dropped the “here and now” of my life and just kept wishing I was in HK.  That led to me doing very poorly in school, which led me to only prolonging the future.  

Now that I am back in school and actually graduating this summer, I get the age-old question “what are you doing after that? are you moving to hong kong?”.  Well, the Lord is teaching me right now to rest in Him, and be in the here and now.  So, that’s what I am doing.  I have no plans.  Am I praying for what is next? Yes, of course.  More than ever before.  Do I still desire to pack my bags and move to Hong Kong? Yes, very much so.  The people of Hong Kong are on my heart daily.  But, I am taking this time to focus on school and finish strong.  Finally.

I have no idea where I will be come August.  Hong Kong, World Race, Birmingham, Austin… the list is endless.  Here is what I DO know:

-I will be in Hong Kong, one day, loving students just like Ocean, Bus, and Cynthia.

-I will work harder in school than ever before so that the “future” can one day become the “present”.

-I will know, on June 27th, after my last final, the next step that God wants me to take.

-Lastly, I know without a doubt that He has great and perfect plans for me.

weekend.

My weekend consisted of nothing but laziness and watching movies.  It was splendid.  Friday night after dinner with friends, I watched Then She Found Me. Meh, it wasn’t that good.  Saturday night I watched Eagle Eye and Ghost Town.  

Eagle Eye was good.  Movies like that tend to stress me out at first, but nonetheless, I enjoyed it.  Kinda fell inlove with Jerry Shaw. Typical.  Ghost Town was cute.  I know that “cute” isn’t really a good word to describe a movie, but that’s all I got.  

That’s my weekend in a nutshell.  I should join netflix.  I’m just scared I’d always forget about sending them back/ordering more, so then my money would go to waste. We’ll see…

decisions decisions.

Finally got my schedule the way I want.  Finally.

I think I am most excited about my independent study I am doing with my favorite psychology professor.  He’s letting me do it on a topic of my choice which is awesome.  But, I have this problem… I can’t decide what to do it on! It can be on ANYTHING, absolutely ANYTHING, in the field of psychology.  Any suggestions?

college career, take: 3.

They say third time is a charm, right?

Today I started back school… for the third time.  I know, I know, but I’m beginning to realize its just in my nature to put things off (not saying I’m proud of that).  Here is my list of tops and bottoms of starting back (yet again)…

bottoms:

-seeing too many girls in nike shorts and either uggs or, like today rainboots.

-being 24 in classes with sophomores (my sister, actually haha).

-riding the tiger transit.

-being so close yet so far away from graduation.

tops:

-structure structure structure. finally. my life has had very little (more like none) lately.

-feeling accomplished (since I plan to never miss a class… without an excuse).

-daily interactions with new people.

-knowing that in 6 months I will never have to attend another college class in my life.

the lana show.

What if you just discovered you were just like Truman? Your entire life has been a script.  Though you were real, everyone around you was merely acting.  Your world isn’t as big as you thought… you are actually just living in a big dome.

When I watch the Truman Show, I seriously start putting myself in his shoes.  And for the rest of the day, I find myself walking into the gas station and the thought crossing my head “this is all staged”.  What a weirdo.

The same thing happened when I studied so much about schizophrenia.  It doesn’t usually hit people until their twenties.  Check.  They really and truthfully think the people they see, events they experience, are real.  Check.  What if someone set you down and was like “oh, we have to take you to a mental institute, sorry… but that best friend you think you have? They aren’t real…”

Call me crazy.  Go ahead.

my pursuit of holiness.

Tonight I started reading The Pursuit of Holiness, by Jerry Bridges again.  It is, by far, the most challenging book that I have ever read.  I almost didn’t want to pick it up.  But something told me to.  I finally listened.

Something struck me in the first chapter more than it did when I read it last year while living on Gay Street surrounded by amazing friends.  

“Many Christians have what we might call a ‘cultural holiness’.  They adapt to the character and behavior pattern of Christians around them.  As the Christian culture around them is more or less holy, so these Christians are more or less holy.  But God has not called us to be like those around us.  He has called us to be like Himself.  Holiness is nothing less than conformity to the character of God.”

Yowza.  This could not be more true in my life right now.  As the people I have surrounded myself with have changed this semester, so has my standard of holiness.  Just because friends claim they know Jesus and live a life that portrays certain sins aren’t actually sins, doesn’t mean it is okay for me to do the same.   I know what you are thinking, “well, duh, Lana.” But, if I am honest with myself, this semester, I have  begun to water down holiness… I have attempted to compartmentalize sin in my life… as if me being in a college town surrounded by college students makes any difference in the Lord’s demand for me to be holy.

Notice demand.  He does not request that we live out holiness.  He simply says “Be holy, for I am holy.”  And Hebrews 12:14 outright claims without holiness we will not see the Lord.  Well by golly, I want to see the Lord.

…more on this later…